The only piece of equipment that is worthwhile is a set of knives. Good knives.
The mission: Cook a real Thanksgiving dinner for 15 people.
I started Friday night. The turkey was procured and transported from the other side of the city by the Canadian. I met him coming in when I was going to school. It was in a blue plastic Ikea bag. We both stopped and peered in in awe. We poked it. We looked. All the Chinese walking by on the sidewalk were incredibly curious. What on earth were those two whitefolks looking at that was so interesting?!?!
The Physicist was doing the roasting. Although he had long ago offered up his oven (which he had never turned on), he stepped up to the plate and said he'd do the actual roasting so that I could do all the other cooking. Running back and forth between two apartments was not going to get everything done. However, he wanted to pick up the turkey Friday night, not Saturday morning. So, stuffing must be made. Bird must be stuffed and trussed. It was falling apart (a wing was broken, the neck cavity had been sliced apart... much bamboo skwewering was necessary). I also needed to make up a list of directions and a turkey-roasting emergency kit, complete with turkey baster, meat thermometer, extra aluminum foil, and the like. Tommy (the Turkey) was then placed in a roasting pan, put back into the aforementioned Ikea bag, and walked across the street. The deal between the physicist and I was that I would provide the directions and he would return with a cooked turkey; I would never question what happened in between.
Then. Pie. I admit that I'm a bit rusty in the pie crust department, especially with a Crisco crust. It ended up being a bit more crumbly than is ideal, but not impossible. I made both a sweet potato and a pumpkin chiffon. The sweet potato was easy. I was already cooking up the pumpkin chiffon pumpkin part (egg yolks and sugar and pumpkin and gelatin) when I realized I'd have to whip the egg whites. Until stiff. By hand. With a small whisk. And a medium saucepan. Oof. 30 minutes later, the whites were whipped. So was I. But I still had pecans to shell. The Chinese roast the pecans in the shell, so they had started to break apart. Still, it was hard going.
Sleep.
Up at 7:30. Time for coffee and more pie. I made the pecan and then the apple. I must say this for the Chinese, they have some good apples.
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| From Thanksgiving Impossible |
On to veggies. I'd used up a lot of the sweet potato for the pie (I didn't have quite enough pumpkin for a chiffon and a standard pie), so I had to roast more potatoes. I also made a homemade green bean casserole, so that meant slicing Chinese long beans (not that there was even an option of buying them frozen), slicing onions, and making fried onions for the top. The recipe said to cook them in the oven, so I did, but it was a pain. In the future, I think I'll just pan fry them. Succotash with fava beans instead of limas because I couldn't find limas. I toyed with using soy beans, but I didn't. Maybe next time.
Then potatoes. I used the rice cooker to cook the potatoes. Even then, I had to do it in two batches. By then, Tommy arrived and he smelled good. I mean good. The Physicist said his entire apartment smelled like Christmas. By now, I knew I was good. A little gravy (or a lot) from the pan drippings and everything was ready. I even had a platter to put Tommy on (thank you again, Ikea).
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| From Thanksgiving Impossible |
The folks were arriving, although the procuring of tables and chairs had hit a stand still. I managed to convince them we did, in fact, need tables and chairs, so off everyone went to bring back things from their apartments. Soon, they were wrestling a table into my spare room (with help from the Mathematition) and the Biologist was setting the table. I was definitely losing steam, but everyone else was stepping up.
Wine and beer was opened. We all filed into the spare room and the turkey was carved.
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| From Thanksgiving Impossible |
I did it. I cooked a dinner for 13 people in my tiny-ass kitchen. I made a proper holiday meal. Everyone left stuffed and happy. They were all incredibly impressed and properly thankful.
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| From Thanksgiving Impossible |
Not only did I cook Thanksgiving dinner, but I earned a bye for our Christmas festivities. (Although I did say I would be happy to cook a bird if that's all I had to do.)
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