Dear Cleaning Lady,

Thank you so much for your hard work. I came home from work last night and I was nearly blinded by the sun streaming in the windows and glancing off my shiny tile floor. It was like walking into the plushest of hotel rooms, except it was my apartment! 

Not only did you wash the floors, but you dusted everything, including the annoying extra shelf under the TV, and you arranged all my reusable bags into a nice, small, neat pile. I am in awe of your organizational abilities. You put my dishes away (after cleaning them). And the bathroom? Well, what isn't there to love about a sparkling clean bathroom, even one as cutely decorated in light blue and light pink flowers as mine is. 

But I admit I am confused about a couple of things. First, why did you make the bed like that? I don't sleep with my head inside the wall, so why were all the blankets flush with the top of the bed? You turned down the comforter, true, but the comforter was at the very edge of the bottom of the mattress -- once I got in bed, my feet would be in the cold air! It just doesn't make sense to make the bed like that. But please don't get me wrong, just because I know how to make a bed doesn't mean that I DO make a bed, and I am grateful for your hard work. (I heard on NPR once that you shouldn't make you bed in the morning because it encourages the growth of dust mites -- who thrive in warm, moist environments, just like your bed after you get out of it. You should leave the covers off so it drys and cools quickly. Yeah, that's why I don't make my bed each morning!)

Secondly, why did you throw away my ear plugs? Since you did throw them away, I can only imagine what you thought they were. Actually, I can't imagine what you thought they were. They're bright pink ear-canal-shaped squishy things. No, they are not bizarre, Western... I don't know whats. They're sleep aids. Haven't you noticed how loud this place is? I live near the garage/parking lot and I hear car alarms and honking at all hours of the day and night. I can hear the loud rumble of construction trucks rolling in and out at midnight. And don't even get me started on the honking on the street corner. I'm half a block away, and I can hear it through my closed windows. And then there's the hammering and drilling from the apartments still being finished in my building. The loud fire door clanging in the hallway. My neighbors. How can you sleep without ear plugs?

Don't worry, I have a few more stashed away, and I've learned that ear plugs can be washed and reused for quite some time. I'll just remember to put them in the drawer before you come the next time.

See you in two weeks!

Love, -c