The Whiteness of the Whale

When I did some reading up before moving here, I heard that the Chinese are very fond of skin whiteners. It was suggested that I might want to bring lotion and make-up with me to avoid an excess of whiteners.

If you're reading this, you probably know me. And if you know me, you probably know that I glow in the dark. Like, seriously. Living in California was the closest thing I ever got to being actually "dark". And by "dark", I mean I didn't look sick. I actually had a nice, healthy glow. (Well, when I wasn't burned to a crisp.)

Today, my school dropped off a bag of goodies at my desk. They are prone to doing this (as you might have gathered). We got laundry detergent, soap, shampoo, conditioner, and bottles of water (3 small bottles of water). Later, they dropped off a 10-pack of toilet paper. Well, the bath items are all Chinese products with Chinese packaging, so I brought the soap with me to my 8th period.

I told them I needed their help. I told them what I'd heard about whiteners. I told them how the last thing I need is to get any whiter. I told them about glowing in the dark. I explained how they might need sunglasses come winter, I get so white. I told them how my skin turns blue because you can see the veins. 

Then, I gave a couple of girls in the front row the bottle, and asked them if it had whiteners. They confirmed it did. In fact, it will whiten my skin in three different ways! When they said that, I burst into laughter. It was such genuine laughter, my kids started laughing along with me.

In Moby Dick, Melville discusses white and black and that although we venerate the former, we also find it horrifying when seen in great expanses -- like vast snow fields, or as the case might be, my glow-in-the-dark skin.

I gave the soap away to a colleague who says he is willing to test it out and see if he gets any whiter. He's a scientist, and so prone to experiments.