I Miss the East German Judge

– or –

I Guess the Cold War Really Is Over

I'll just admit right now that I haven't been keeping up with the Olympics. The whole "return to China-unpack a new apartment" thing has been keeping me distracted. And while I guess I could look for coverage in Chinese or online, I just haven't. I've never been a giant Olympics freak — at least not since I moved on from my girlish obsession with gymnastics.

But I remember those early Olympics before the Wall came down. I remember when Nadia defected to the U.S. And I remember the East German judges.

Back in the day, each event was evaluated from one to ten (one to eight for diving for some bizarre reason), and a judge from six? eight? countries each gave a score. The highest and lowest were dropped and the rest averaged. I have no idea how the judges were picked, but there always seemed to be a U.S. judge and a Russian one, a West German one and an East German one. I think France and Great Britain alternated and the other Eastern block nations must have taken a turn. I don't remember any other continents represented.

It really upped the excitement level. Because we all knew that the Eastern bloc was going to mark down the Western athletes — but we didn't know by how much... And it was obvious who your friends really were.

Skip ahead to a few weeks ago when I was staying with my sister and her family. My brother-in-law has always been something of an Olympics freak, so it goes without saying that the TV was generally tuned to the Olympics. And, if diving or gymnastics was on, well, I'd take a break from sewing to watch.

And there it was on the screen: One score. That's it. They post one score having already conferenced and marked and deducted and judged. The IOC got rid of the East German judge! (OK, so the fall of the Berlin Wall did that, too, but you get my drift.) How are you supposed to tell your allies apart from your enemies?!

And, when I'm in class and I do something particularly mean and I blame it on the East German judge, the kids just stare at me like I'm crazy... Which I am, but still.

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