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Tuesday, September 6, 2011

I Owe You, Big Time

Ah, Gentle Readers. I'm sure you thought I had forgotten about you. Perhaps you worried that I had turned my back on my blog and would be gallivanting around the world without filling you in on the day-to-day details of all the places I poo. Well, fear not. I have not turned my back on you, I was just enjoying the wonders of the United States during the summer months.

I meant to write to tell you what being home was like, but I didn't. I will rectify that now with a list of What I Learned During My Summer Vacation.

1. American bathrooms are really awesome. Flushing toilet paper is a wonderful idea. Deodorizing air fresheners are better than sliced bread. Bleach and soap are your friends. Hand dryers that actually dry your hands in less than 15 minutes are super cool.

My first night back in town, I went out to a local brew pup, the HUB (go there, it's totally awesome.) I had a few pints and then (not surprisingly) went to the bathroom. Seated on the commode, I looked to the right: no trash can there. I looked to the left: no trash can there, either. Oh, wait! In the U.S., you can flush your paper! I almost did a happy dance right there in the stall.

2. Water, water everywhere, and every drop I drank. Drinking tap water is great! I drank the tap water everywhere, even if filtered water was available. Oh sure, sometimes I'd reach for the Brita, but oftentimes, I didn't. Why? Because I didn't have to. Tap water on demand. Now that is a concept.

3. When you spend 10 months not understanding the language and you suddenly find yourself surrounded by people who speak the same language, you start to hear voices. In China, if I hear someone speaking English, I probably know them. The same is not true in the U.S., although I kept on hearing my friends' and colleagues' voices in places like the airport.

4. You never forget how to drive. It's like riding a bike.

5. American stores have the best toiletries. The travel-size section is particularly alluring. I bought so much sunblock (in travel and non-travel sizes), soap, and lotions it's really not funny. But it was oh, so fun!

6. Clothes that fit are awesome.

7. I love my sewing machine.

8. My family and friends are great, too.

9. Allergies really suck and I really need Flonase to survive summer in the ol' U.S. of A.

10. Mexican food is delicious. It's impossible to have too much Mexican food. Or bacon. Or IPA. Or lobster. Or any food that tastes like what you think it will taste like.

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